#1
"White or Wheat?"
- Zalini (In response to my curse 'christ on fucking toast')

#2
"A friend in need is a friend indeed / A friend with weed is better"
- Placebo (Pure Morning)

#3
"Being out of pot is a matter of perspective"
- ShadowNode (Smokedot)

#4
"Rusty, any one of those cops could be a police officer!"
- me

#5
"I highly doubt he can be seduced"
- Angela (about Matt)

#6
"man for all the "mellowing" effects you say smoking weed has..."
- Rusty

#7
"double smoke(unsigned long long pounds,char *method);"
- me

#8
"C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows your whole leg off."
- Bjarne Stroustrup

#9
"Premature optimization is the root of all evil."
- Donald E. Knuth

#10
"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence."
- Jeremy S. Anderson

#11
"Two minutes of gooey near-satisfaction followed by weeks of haunting guilt is so much more easily attained at Haagen-Dazs."
- Florence Campbell

#12
"Without music, life would be a mistake."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

#13
"No human thing is of serious importance."
- Plato

#14
"Lord give me chastity - but not yet."
- Saint Augustine

#15
"man, my new phone had best not kill me or anything"
- Matt (overheard on irc)

#16
"Excuses are for Losers"
- William Beverly (9th grade American History)

#17
"hmmm. that didnt quite inspire the flurry of conversation I was hoping for"
- Matt (overheard on irc)

#18
"come on man, what about those of us who use them legatimetly to generate tones on our rotary phones!"
- me

#19
"you know how many geeks would kill for that evidence in their residence? :)"
- Matt (about this)

#20
"what i want
mornings for the winter and afternoons for the summer"
- Elastica (My Sex)

#21
"what i want
is for you to be waiting round the other side of every door"
- Elastica (My Sex)

#22
"what i want
to walk thru the wardrobe of other bodies we have known"
- Elastica (My Sex)

#23
"what i want
fifteen minutes of you"
- Elastica (My Sex)

#24
"what i want
a lover who loves me when others have loved me not"
- Elastica (My Sex)

#25
"what i want
is a big love, two spoons in a drawer, the master plan"
- Elastica (My Sex)

#26
"what i want
a lover who can love me slowly"
- Elastica (My Sex)

#27
"what i want
to make your heart beat faster"
- Elastica (My Sex)

#28
"what i want
is a room with a three bar fire like the one you had before, when you were poor, and i just liked you more"
- Elastica (My Sex)

#29
"what i want
to be in the park in the morning, the long shadows on the grass and the swans still asleep"
- Elastica (My Sex)

#30
"what i want
is to love you everywhere and everyhow"
- Elastica (My Sex)

#31
"what i want
to kiss you until our lips are numb"
- Elastica (My Sex)

#32
"what i want
kiss you 'til everywhere hurts"
- Elastica (My Sex)

#33
"what i want
is to hear the rain against the window again"
- Elastica (My Sex)

#34
"I think they were trying to say something."
- Nat Friedman (about this)

#35
"The Godfather is a movie than transcends the Mason-Dixon line."
- Christopher Watford

#36
"that looks like a tube of cookie dough"
- mabel (Mabel - Goldfinger)

#37
"Hello Charlie"
- Becky

#38
"You can only go where you believe. i only believe in candy stores"
- Yancey (about death)

#39
"dickhead"
- Gates (about Ben)

#40
"Viva Viva Viva, Life and Limb"
- Fugazi (Life and Limb)

#41
"Fact 1: Less than 1% of the population is capable of understanding the reality of the movie Memento"
- Alex Leigh (tessier.com, 2001-09-07)

#42
"Careful. We don't want to learn from this"
- Calvin

#43
"two urinals was not enough"
- unknown (taped to the tree in the bathroom)

#45
"My brain is like a bike chain that's popped its gears, so that the rider is pedaling but there is no propulsion."
- Moke Dat Yiggarette (about caffiene and weed intoxication. found here)

#46
"If I was gay, I'd be all over you by now."
- Yancey (about gates)

#47
"Pussy, my anti-drug"
- Harsha (putting words in my mouth)

#48
"a state of ... doneness"
- Leslie (Finishing my sentance 'ill go when my term paper is done or in a state of....')

#49
"Ds are Degrees"
- Gates

#50
"I'd want to be a woman so I could play in the WNBA"
- Harsha

#51
"Stop throwing condoms at me!"
- Me (to the deadly accurate Matt)

#52
"Ghandi, only flaming"
- Chris (about Harsha)

#53
"I want to be one of those guys who builds their own hooker"
- Chris

#54
"I've found my gay soulmate... now if only I were gay."
- Harsha

#55
"I feel like a villian in a James Bond movie"
- Harsha

#68
"hell technology companies are just heading in the wrong direction, I dont want a PDA to interface w/ my toaster, I want a smarter irc"
- matt (overheard on irc)

#69
"thank you captain obvious"
- charles (overheard on irc)

#70
"the female orgasm is 80% foreplay, 20% guesswork."
- me

#71
"sex is just masturbation if it is just to get off."
- me

#72
"man, im just really horny, ill jack off instead of studying"
- me

#73
"oh my god! he's god a third leg!!"
- chris (about Yancey)

#74
"yes officer, everyone is zipped and tucked"
- chris

#75
"He's not refined like me"
- Yancey (i forget who this was about)

#76
"Yancey, these are waitresses, not prostitutes"
- me

#77
"can i just have a virgin?"
- Yancey (to the Chili's waitress)

#78
"I already have 13 hours"
- Yancey (comparing class schedules)

#79
"Using autoconf is like playing chess from 20 feet away by flicking a rope to move the pieces..."
- mbp (seen on advogato)

#80
"fuck that, ill do what i damn well please. im marking up language."
- me (about my web site's html's validity)

#81
"How come Nirvana hasn't come out with a good album lately. Oh, yeah. :-)"
- Charles (overheard on irc)

#82
"reboot, reattach mouse, fuck malloc"
- Charles (overheard on irc)

#83
"maybe you're just a dumbass or something"
- Rusty (about me)

#84
"By the time he got to the second 'o', I knew he was on crack."
- Charles (overherad on irc)

#86
"You know when stoners have clean pieces they're desperate"
- me

#87
"Bush declares terrorism 'Double plus ungood'"
- Matt (overheard on irc)

#88
"I would have sex with you, but you're a little too dirty"
- Harsha (to me)

#89
"They did not give me the length of this meter stick, how do I do this?"
- Chris (about some homework)

#90
"%lt;inv_thursday%gt; man, that was a good nap. hmm... 700 o'clock eh? wait... crap."
- Matt (overheard on irc)

#91
""Nice people are nice!" "Up with Good! Down with Evil!""
- jwz (jwz.org)

#92
"Wait, you go bowling?"
- Jenny

#93
"I hate Nietzsche, that stupid stoner."
- Amanda

#94
"I would have studied for the test, but I was too busy tasting the linoluem"
- me

#95
"I hope everyone's ready for loads and loads of buried seamen treats!"
- the bear (in the 'pills' comic strip by Luke Mattison)

#96
"Well, it does have that pretty splash screen and all"
- Charles (about xemacs, overheard on irc)

#97
"college is great, except for the whole school thing"
- me

#98
"You fucking stoner."
- my RA

#99
"Yeah, thats why a piece is nice, you can do a lot easily. No stoner wants to roll another joint stoned, and never thinks to preroll extra.s"
- me

#100
"This is JESUS in a bottle, I swear!"
- chris

#101
"Ben, I don't mean to be crude, but if that doesn't get you laid, I don't know what will."
- Leslie

#102
"quit checking me out!"
- Lyndsey (while sitting naked in my bed)

#103
"man we should band together and ban this irc technology, for all I know someone in this very channel could be using it right now"
- matt (overheard on irc)

#104
"did he just call you an asshat?"
- some guy on a counter-strike server Chris and I were playing on

#105
"ish: it still counts as a script if you write it in C."
- matt

#106
"ishamael seems to have started a new sect for Badness Generation"
- tk (advogato)

#107
"Watch out for the kleenex and satellite phone on the floor"
- Rusty

#108
"Gimmie a minute. *rub* *rub*"
- me

#109
"i want you to be my kid's crazy ass pot smoking math teacher"
- Elena (speaking to me)

#110
"I just came here for an orgasm."
- Lyndsey

#111
"i saw midget porn, and it was everything i thought it could be"
- chris

#112
"I think you have a beautiful dick."
- Lyndsey

#113
"You mean, like bowls to eat out of?"
- Andy

#114
"You're just like Cookie Monster, but with breasts instead of cookies"
- Lyndsey

#115
"i dunno, i think sex would be better than hagen-daaz any day"
- Ami

#116
"OE NOES TEH ALGAE EATING CHARLIE DIED"
- chris

#117
"Whoever said size doesn't matter ..."
- Lyndsey

#118
"Don't be sad cheesecake!!"
- Cindy

#119
" man i'm so happy that i'm almost certainly not goign to get kicked out of school at the end of this semster :)"
- Rusty (overheard on irc)

#120
"I'm going to hump you and cut off your nipples"
- Andrew

#121
"You're squandoring your resources with these misadventures in the new world"
- Rusty (Over Risk)

#122
"I want to eat some fucking crackers!!"
- Rusty (with arms flailing wildly)

#123
"I want to be a queen"
- Beej

#124
"and, man....what an orgy!"
- capn (irc)

#125
"Man, I like Visual Basic"
- Rusty

#126
"obama: here's the pooh until they stfu"
- capn (irc)